Stogies

Those pesky skeeters are bringing deadly viruses to town. The townsfolk are terrified. How do we deal with them nasty bugs? Pesticides: ineffective. Mosquito nets: ineffective. Natural predators: ditto. A newspaper story claims lots of cigar smoke keeps those pesky critters away. So, it’s down to the shops I go.

“Two large stogies please, my good man.”

Gosh they smell lovely. What an aroma. Smells like power! Let’s get these babies back home right now. Have I got a cutter? No. No problem: I’ll bite the end off like a movie tough guy. Arnie’s got nothing on me.

On the porch, no breeze, the stogies light with ease. It works! No skeeters to be seen. Time for a celebratory drink in the kitchen. Lovley. Wife comes in.

“What’s going on?” she asks.

“Cigar smoke keeps mosquitos at bay.”

“Yes, but why are the kids smoking?”

“You know I don’t smoke.”