Sleeping is a Struggle

Every night, I lie down intending to fall into a deep, sound sleep. But after an hour or two, I find myself awake, feeling my sore back and neck muscles tighten to the point where I’m frustrated, and unable to go back to sleep.

Because of spinal pain and emotional issues, sleeping is a struggle for me. I suffer from a sleep disorder called sleep apnea. While I am asleep, my lungs stop breathing.

As an aid, I use what is called a C-Pap machine, along with an Oxygenator to help me sleep better and more thoroughly.

Yet, with all this High-Tech equipment, I still struggle to sleep soundly throughout the night.

Along with many others, I suffer from Chronic pain syndrome. This causes me to suffer from insomnia, among other non-life-threatening conditions such as irritability and anxiety. Those of us who have it know what it means to be sleep-deprived.

Chronic pain became my friend after having surgery on my lower back to remove a cyst on my vertebra. Since then, my friend has never left my side.

Meanwhile, I still struggle to sleep at night. Oh, I can fall asleep easily enough, but I can’t stay asleep, no matter what sleep remedy I try. I wake up every hour or so throughout the night, so much so that I am exhausted by morning.

During the day, I feel restless and wish I could take a nap. But I’m told by the doctor that taking naps during the day will prevent me from sleeping throughout the night. So, napping during the day shouldn’t be an option.

I do take what I call ‘Power Naps’ that last 20 or 30 minutes at a stretch. They leave me feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. Napping any longer than that makes my back ache. Then, I’ve defeated the purpose of power napping in the first place.

So whether I sleep during the day or night, my back aches.

I’m reminded of the Rolling Stones classic song, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” The lyrics go on to say, “But if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need.” I might be paraphrasing, but I hope you understand the significance of what these lyrics mean to me.

Even though I struggle with sleep, I get what I need out of life. I am happy with life’s journey, and if all goes well, I’ll be walking with no assistance before too long.