A Grand Syllable Disposal System

Here is the challenge I’ve set for you:

You have been given ten (and only ten) lines of poetry — for you lovers of category, it’s called an “etheree” — to tell your story. You will be creating an organized, but simple, syllable disposal system.

By “simple, syllable disposal system,” I mean you must squeeze out just one syllable in the first line, then immediately close off the syllable sphincter from the grand syllable disposal pool.

Plopping onto the second line of poetry, while using the utmost concentration, you only allow yourself two syllables to squeeze out. It may be tempting not to stop at two — but you must. Poetry sans structure, devolves into dry and listless prose. So, tighten the hell out of that syllable sphincter after the second syllable.

You position yourself onto the third line of poetry with a feeling of hope, but you must keep it tempered by renewed dedication to organized syllable disposal. Three syllables only — one, two, three — stop! STOP! ST-T-T-OPPP!

Take a moment to congratulate yourself as you slip onto the fourth line of poetry. You’ve come so far, but it’s not time to let your enthusiasm for the process overrule your organizational judgement. Only release four syllables here.

See? See? You’re getting better at the process. I don’t think you need me to hold your hand any more. I mean, after all, this is a personal and private undertaking, isn’t it? Let me help you this one last time with the fifth syllable. Ready? Squeeze … one, two — you’ve got this! — three, four … ready? five-STOP! That’s it. You’ve mastered the technique. You can do the last five lines on your own.

I’m leaving now.

I’ll be just outside the door.

Call if you need me.

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As I stand outside this door, I feel like the proud papa I was when my child did it for the first time.

Believe it or not, I even remember when I did it my first time.

Yes, when I finished my first grand syllable disposal — I don’t know, I felt oddly relieved, (having disposed of 55 syllables, over 10 organized and systematic syllable disposal steps). I must say, once done, I walked lighter.

I had more bounce in my step.

I felt hugely satisfied.

Finishing it — well, it made me flush with pride. I wish you the same satisfaction after your first complete, grand syllable disposal.

I trust you will flush, too, with satisfaction and pride.

Now, given my eidetic memory [not!], I’m going to share with you, the very first 55 syllables I disposed of years ago — right here on FanStory — albeit without the explication of its detailed creation. It’s called:

June’s Gloom

June
is four
or maybe
five (or yet six)
pounds past the weight where
a frantic bride might curse
the scale. The mail-ordered gown
for which she measured the month past
is still enroute; to arrive today
at two-fifty-five. The wedding’s at three.

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